Deep thoughts

I'll try to keep this short.  If you are pregnant or have a newborn, please don't read this! Serious.


This weekend a mother, father, siblings and extended family are laying to rest their 2 month old baby.  I can not stop thinking about it.  It brings up memories like it was yesterday even though it's been over 2 years.


Something I couldn't talk about then.  As a parent, you never think for a baby or child that you would have to choose a burial plot and where... what makes the most sense for the future... and do we buy plots next to the little one for oursleves, etc etc.  You never think you will be looking at tiny caskets and picking one out for your child to lay in forever.  You never think you will be putting together a memorial/funeral/burial.  It's not supposed to happen in youth, but it does.  And because it does, I cannot be thankful enough for a comforting God that through all the gut wrenching pain emotionally and physically, he does comfort and give you peace.


As I rock Madelynne to sleep whether it be nap time or bed time, I look up at the shelf and see Esmee's photo and the blanket sitting there that she was wrapped in for the few precious precious hours that I got to hold her.  I feel very selfish as I look at Esmee's picture because I want them both, here, with me, now.  My heart still aches for Esmee.  But then at night I thank God again for the short time I knew Esmee and that she is always ours, always loved, never replaced and such a huge part of our family still.  And thank God that she brought Heaven closer to us.  I love that every day when I pray to God, I feel close to Esmee as she is with Him in Heaven.


So as I think of this precious family saying good-bye, I know they will feel God's love, comfort, tender care and peace wrapped around them, even in the pain.  I want to let them know my heart goes out to them 100% right now.  My heart aches for what they are going through, and I am praying for them.